Archive for January, 2010

Sightings: Michaelmatician(s) Seen?

Posted in Uncategorized on 01/29/2010 by jeremyshingles

Friday 01/29/10 10:01 am

Two conflicting reports have come in claiming to have seen Michaelmatician. The first report comes from Relizane, Algeria where a local meat dealer says he witnessed Michaelmatician. (quote translated to english) “I was seeing professor in market. I know it is him from all of the Resistance propaganda I’ve seen. He must move in time this day. He appeared suddenly before several seconds and then disappeared to me.” (This is a report heard quite frequently from this part of the world.) The second report is from the same time of day but in the United States. A taxi driver in NYC claims to have seen Michaelmatician. The driver states that he saw Michael come out of an office building and open a sewer manhole and go into it. The driver would not comment on the sighting or how he knew that it was Michaelmatician.

Both reports are to have occurred at around 10am. This leads many to believe that more advancements have been made with the Windmill and/or Zero-Motion.

No other local or world news has reported any happenings of the Resistance today, but many online sources like this one have written about Michael recently. Many sources feel that the Resistance is going to return to it’s original U.S. front soon, with Michaelmatician once again leading.
After more than a decade since his exodus from the States’ public eye (Ugooglizer ’99), his return is highly aniticpated.

~ Jeremy Shingles

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Earthquake Haiti: Dedonde Seeks Profits

Posted in Uncategorized on 01/19/2010 by jeremyshingles

1/19/10
In the aftermath of the Earthquake(s) in Haiti, Dedonde Inc. is offering its support and aid by opening “help centers” all around the capital. These help centers are designed to serve as hospitals/refuge for displaced and injured Haitians. However, it is possible that they have ulterior motives.

A recent transmission (time/sound message) from Michael reveals that Dedonde Inc is planning to use these facilities as future stores and office buildings for Dedonde Inc. and Dedonde Enterprises. Currently Dedonde Enterprises does not have an official presence in Haiti, but this “aid support” will serve as a way for the company to expand into the Carribean market. There has been no official statement about this rumour, but a spokesman for Dedonde Inc. has made this statement:

“We do plan to use our resources to help Haiti during this extremely difficult time. One of the biggest problems in a crisis time like this is that there are plenty of people to help, but limited facilities to capitalize on the labor……the labor of the helping people, the volunteers. We want to create a means for real work to be done during this crisis, we want results for Haiti.”

It has not been confirmed if this project has been approved by any NGOs or global groups, but many experts have commented that new facilities are not necessary for this crisis. Expert James Lensen made this statement:

“It just isn’t practical for a company to begin construction in Haiti during this crisis. By the time these help centers are constructed it will be too late. Dedonde should just contribute funds. It would make much more sense.” (Lensen has recently gone missing.)

Michaelmatician has called for all members of the Carribean Resistance to bring aid to the Haitians with canned goods. He has also commanded the “help centers” to be destroyed by any means necessary.