DVDs Destroy Dallas by Donation.

Monday July 23rd: An abandonded burning car was found near a Dallas city park. A discarded police report states that the trunk of the car contained multiple garbage bags filled with DVDs and were unharmed by the fire. Allegedly, the DVDs were all identical copies of “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” (1956). Officer Parker indicated in the report that nearly 160 copies were recovered from the car trunk and subsequently donated to the “worst Dallas library available”.

Librarian Terry Malloy has denied such a donation, as well as the existence of the aforementioned “worst” library. Mr. Malloy made the following statement:

“I’ve been the Director of library services in this city for 4+ years, and I can tell you that most of our DVD donations come from the Local Ebay Reject List. We don’t accept anything less.”


(Terry Malloy)

MICHAELmATICIAN has previously stated that events not unlike this one are most likely staged attempts to destroy standard DVD players in hopes that they will be replaced by Blu-Ray players. MICHAELmATICIAN has stated that Blu-Ray is a “radical notion meant for technologies more primitive than GE”. He has also discouraged the donating of Blu-Ray DVDs to any local librarium.

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